The other day, my wife shared a facebook post of a young man who was at the verge of quitting his courtship. What was the issue? After three years of courtship, he had an epiphany that his fiancé had no vision, except to attend classes in school and watch certain soap on DSTV; he even doubted if she knew the three tiers of government. As at the time of sharing the facebook post, she had began apologizing for her complacency and mediocrity, but it was an effort coming too late, as the young man had already found a lady of his dream.
I am reminded of a similar scenario some years ago; of a friend who against all odds had to quit a relationship at the verge of marriage. He was someone who was very current about happenings from within and beyond national shores and revels in such. I remember while visiting with a mechanic, he came across a fellow of a kindred spirit. The gist swung from economy to politics, from agriculture to technology. Before I said jack, we had spent one additional hour.
He had lamented over and again how trite it was chatting with his fiancé, and how the rope binding him and the lady risks being torn apart except for the tie between his father and hers’, for both parents were friends. Few months before the wedding unsurprisingly, the news poured in that the rope had finally snapped. This is one case too many.
I always share the opinion that would-be couples should consider compatibility factors such as education, spiritual standing, church denomination, tribe, region, and the likes, but that should not be at the expenses of weightier matters such as hobbies, interest, dreams, passion, etc. Of what good it is for a lady to speak the same dialect with you yet she is uninterested in your hobby, career, vocation, and seemed never to be; or you share similar village yet loath personal development.
My friend’s decision rift the two families apart but he stood his ground, and later found a lady he really loved; someone, a friend that they could watch football together for hours and talk about the best Tennis players in the world. Friend, know that your parents have lived the better part of their lives, hence taking heed to their advice hook, line and sinker may just leave you with regrets when they are long gone. However, be respectful and wise in defending your choice.
