Just as there is a purpose for everyone born into this world, which more often than not manifests in gifts/talents, and just as there is a purpose for every creature, including the handy-work of men, there is a purpose for every marriage. When betroths are drawing close to tying the knot, they discuss relevant matters bothering on children, job, sex, in-laws, and the likes but not many think about the assignment for the marriage. By assignment or purpose, I mean where the hearts of the couple intersects. It goes beyond children, sex, in-laws, and beyond each of the partner’s vocation, profession, job or hobby. It is about what both parties are passionate for or what the couple will like to be remembered for when all is said and done. Many people get married and wonder what else to do after, sex, children, friends, good house and job. It leaves a deep hole of lack of fulfillment, especially at the later stage of life. The assignment here relates more with humanitarian, community or charity work.
Beyond sex and bearing children, good as they are, marriage is for an assignment. I learnt that sex is just 5% of the entire package. Children on the other hand will eventually leave whether by force or choice. I have heard more than a dozen marriage pundits alluded to that fact in the past; however, it only dawned on me after our wedding
My wife and I were in the same youth group in church abinitio. This was in 1998. Even while on campus, she always longed to be home to be part of the fellowship, just as I the president. When it was obvious that we were meant for each other, we knew that the assignment will have something in common with the youth directly or indirectly.
At the toddler years of marriage, it was difficult as we were inundated with other bigger challenges such as raising kids, trying to keep a job and working hard to raise the resource in order to keep the family afloat. However, in recent years, it is becoming more obvious that giving back to the society by reaching out to the youths is more than a past-time or leisure, it is a call.
In his book, the Pursuit of Purpose, Myles Munroe (of blessed memory), a major voice in this area outlined five posers bordering on the subject which I believe will guide couples seeking answer in this area:
1. Who am I?
2. Where did I come from?
3. What am I capable of doing?
4. Why am I here?
5. Where am I going?
In answering the question of purpose, couples must learn to identify themselves in terms of their belief, personality, gifts, etc. Answering these provides couples with relevant insight into how and why they are wired the way they are. The second question basically deals with source-either from biological parents or the Creator. The summary here is that a Lion cannot have goat as an offspring. The third question borders on talents, gifts and capabilities. The fourth is related to the main assignment-the focus of this piece. Some of the questions here include: Am I gifted in singing, acting, playing instruments, etc? Which should I explore? It can also be a call to breed the next generation of teenagers, youths or disciples. But then it must be clarified whether on full or part-time basis and possibly the strategy to carry out such an assignment. The fifth poser has to do with eternity after all is said and done on earth.
Again to drive home this point, I will like to take us back to memory lane. As you have earlier read, my wife and I belonged to a thriving youth group. She joined in 1998, two years I signed up. By 1997 I became the president of the fellowship while she also became an executive (EXCO) a year later. Back on campus, I was part of the fellowship leadership just as much as she was in her campus. All these-Youth EXCO, campus leadership, etc revealed that we had so much in common.
Before we wedded, during our courtship, we did not have to argue about certain matter; we knew our area of ministry is with the youths. As a further confirmation, when I started writing books in 2009, the burden had always centered on Youths/Teenagers. Today, besides the commitment to raising Godly Youths, my wife and I run an NGO and other business outfits where we mentor lots of youths in development work.
These three-writing books, development work and business gives us fulfillment way beyond words as we see young people find their footing in life while developing Godly character.